After Valentine's Day, our dating when on mostly as before. We enjoyed the time we spent together, missed each other when we were apart and loved talking on the phone to learn how our days had been. We'd been talking on the phone every night for quite a while now, and had even in the mornings. I worked early and Bobby woke up early for school, so on my drives to work I'd call and we'd see what the day held for each of us. I'd think of him when he took tests, and I'm sure the little prayers I said made a difference...since we've met Bobby has done better in school, little by little. He'd think of me when I was in the middle of moving furniture around and painting and looking disheveled.
Sometime toward the end of March he came to visit me. I don't remember what we did. The only clearly distinct part of that weekend that I remember is a conversation we had. We were on the couch watching a movie and Bobby turned it off and looked at me very seriously. He said, "Do you remember that conversation we had back in January?"
He smiled, "We were in your kitchen and I asked you how you would feel if I were madly in love with you. And you said, 'Are you madly in love with me? Because I'm not ready for that!' And I said, 'No.' I was just wondering how you felt about that now."
You know how in books a character has a single moment to think about something and somehow has enough thoughts to fill ten pages? I felt like that at that moment. Literally in one second this is what I thought: He's basically telling me he loves me, but doesn't want to tell me straight-out in case I don't feel the same way, but what if I do feel the same way, his eyes are beautiful, if I tell him I love him there's no turning back from this, why doesn't he just tell me first so I'll know if he really does love me, oh dear, I think I do love him...
I looked at him and said, "I love you." And then I groaned to myself because he looked at me with a blank stare and said nothing. (I would later learn it was because he was so dumbfounded that I even said such a thing). He slowly smiled and said, "I love you."
And then for the whole weekend every ten minutes he would turn to me and say, "I love you." Over and over and over again. I love him.